


Worth It

by Dramaticdragon



Series: Playlist Fics [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:09:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28620834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dramaticdragon/pseuds/Dramaticdragon
Summary: Despite being asked out by Hajime himself, Nagito still feels like he doesn't deserve it. He tries hard to earn Hajime's time, but will it all work out in the end?
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Series: Playlist Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2097267
Comments: 10
Kudos: 154





	Worth It

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by song lyrics lol:
> 
> Maybe I don’t deserve it, but I’ll give you all I got and I’ll make it worth it
> 
> (“Perfect” by Lucas & Steve, feat. Haris)

Nagito was still coming to terms with the fact that he was  _ dating _ Hajime Hinata. It seemed like such a fantastical idea, the reality had only half set in. 

What added to the fantasy of it all, was that it was  _ Hajime _ who confessed. Back in the simulation, Nagito once tried, then caught himself half-way, realizing Hajime had far better things to do than listen to him ramble. But now, out of the simulation, with everyone recovering and using the island as one big therapy center, and Hajime being also half-Izuru…  _ now _ they are dating?!

At the time, Hajime (who has since requested to be on a first name basis, like everyone else on the island) had seemed so confident in his stance that he was interested in dating Nagito. And to someone as observant as Nagito was, it was clear that it was his own confidence, mixed in with Izuru’s; it was a group decision, it seemed. 

Nagito had no idea how he’d gotten so lucky. 

Well, okay. He had an idea how he got lucky. That was his whole thing. 

But  _ luck _ , even his own luck, can only get you so far. Luck is winning the lottery, or finding a shiny Pokemon on your first wild encounter. Luck could even get you so far as having your crush find you interesting. Maybe, just maybe, even stretch as far as to have your crush ask you out. 

But that’s where Nagito’s luck ended. Even his own, unprecedented luck, had limits. Then comes the point of the old faithful “I thought you were neat or mysterious, or insert any cool adjective here, so I wanted to date you, but after properly and truly interacting with you on this date, I’ve come to realize you’re a freak who isn’t worth my time” scene. That scene always comes on the first date (yes, believe it or not, Nagito had actually managed to get to a ‘first date’ before, all things considered). He had never progressed farther, and it was such a rarity to even get to that point at all. 

Despite the shock- and elation- of being asked out by none other than the veritable man of his dreams, Nagito could only sit around and wait for “old faithful”. 

They went on their first date, walking on the beach. 

Then a second, to the movie room.

Then a third, to the library, although it was less of a ‘date’ so much as ‘sitting in silence reading together’. 

And soon, tonight. Their fourth. 

Nagito stared at his cabin’s ceiling from his bed. 

Something was wrong with the universe, clearly. 

Somehow, he managed to slip under the radar of “reality”, and be asked out on  _ more than one _ date, by Hajime. 

But now, with the realization of “old faithful” potentially being canceled, it was time to panic. 

How was he supposed to keep this up?! Do people just  _ live like this _ ?! Dating someone a thousand miles out of their league? And just, what? Be chill about it? 

Well, Nagito decided that with his new chance at life out of the simulation, he’d take a new attitude! New Year of growth, or something motivational like that! 

He would do everything in his power, mind body and soul, to  _ earn it _ . 

Nagito knew he never truly would earn Hajime’s time, or deserve his attention. Or Izuru’s, but they preferred to just go by “Hajime”, generally. The point still stands, though. 

But, even if he could never deserve it, he’d work his fingers to the bone to make it somehow enjoyable for Hajime. If he has to suffer through dating someone like Nagito, it’s only  _ polite _ for Nagito to dedicate his life to this! 

But, where to start?!

Their fourth ( _ fourth _ !) date was tonight, and Hajime had claimed it was a surprise what they were doing. Nagito had a feeling Izuru liked surprising people, since it made their reactions a bit unpredictable. It was such a…  _ domestic _ trait to form, for someone such as himself. 

But, as wonderful as any surprise from Hajime must be, it left Nagito in a tight spot. How to prepare for something you don’t know about? Well, thankfully, Nagito was generally quite lucky with these things, obviously. 

He didn’t have many fancy clothes, to dress up with to appease Hajime, visually. While clothes would never make him actually appealing, regardless of price or material, it was a nice thought to  _ try _ . But alas, his fanciest outfit was a pair of black jeans, and a single light blue polo shirt, that was missing the topmost button. What a sight. The Future Foundation was (fairly) more focused on rehabilitation and food-and-shelter, than fashion, when they helped reestablish the island to living conditions. 

But he could have sworn he saw Hiyoko in a new dress… Maybe they can request clothes? They get frequent shipments, after all… 

Well, the jeans and polo combo would have to be it for tonight. 

Then came his personal hygiene. While Nagito was  _ extremely _ focused on keeping himself well-showered and clean, his hair was still quite untamable. It stood up at all angles, and Nagito felt like he could  _ watch _ tangles forming. It wasn’t the thickest hair in the world, either, so there wasn’t enough density to even try to hide the tangles. And it seems like some of his luck was finally backfiring- he had the traditional teenage blessing of acne, right on his chin. His skin was rather dry, naturally, but even he couldn’t avoid a zit here and there, and of course now he would have a glaring red one, right before his date. 

_ Gross _ … Nagito thought to himself. 

Okay, so clothes have been picked, his hair has had an attempt to be brushed, and his face has been washed. 

Nagito moisturized his calloused hand with an orange scented moisturizer that he knew Hajime liked. Maybe the subtle scent would trick Hajime into thinking there was something appealing about him. 

The date wasn’t for another hour, so Nagito had all the time in the world to sit and overthink. 

Should he bring something? A gift for Hajime? Were they going to eat? Should he say something funny when Hajime arrives? Or something romantic? What are even romantic things to say?!

_ Oh! _ He thought, head snapping over to the desk table by his bed, _ a card! _

About a week or so ago, Hiyoko had made some beautiful calligraphy cards for everyone, as her way of being kind, and also showing off another of her traditional Japanese talents. Even Nagito got one! He made sure to hang it properly in his room, so it wouldn’t be damaged. Hajime seemed to really like his card, and even pointed out the design of the envelope it was in (“Oh, I like the little duck pattern on the bottom”, were his exact words). 

Nagito didn’t have cute duck envelopes, or years of calligraphy practice, though. But maybe just a heartfelt message would do? Would Hajime like it? Nagito didn’t want to burden Hajime with his feelings, but he seemed to appreciate compliments, so would his spirits be lifted if Nagito wrote kind words? How should he even start the card…? 

Eventually, Nagito worked his way through his own thoughts, and wrote:

_ Hajime,  _

_ Thank you for taking the time to be with me. You are very generous and sacrificial. I am glad to know someone as giving as you.  _

_ -Nagito  _

Nagito smiled proudly at his card. It wasn’t beautiful writing, but even  _ he _ could allow himself the praise of having neat penmanship when he tried. He didn’t have a cute envelope, so instead he used some of the colorful tape Ibuki once gave him to close the card together. 

Soon enough, Nagito heard a loud knocking at his cabin door. 

“Coming!” He announced, quickly opening the door. 

Hajime was, of course, standing there, holding a small, single daisy in his hand. 

“Hey, Nagito,” Hajime greeted with a smile, and held out the tiny flower towards Nagito, “This is for you.”

Nagito took the flower very carefully, gently holding in his non-robot hand, and tucking it into the little pocket of his polo shirt. 

“I love it,” He said happily, still staring at his pocket to make sure the flower didn’t fall out. 

“I’m glad, because there’s more where that came from,” Hajime said.

“Hm?” 

“I’ll show you,” Hajime said, “It’s the surprise part of the date, after all.”

And with that, he held out his hand for Nagito. But Nagito quickly remembered his own gift, as well. 

“Oh, I have this for you, too,” Nagito said, his voice quieting a bit, and handed over the card that was in his robotic hand, to Hajime.

“Oh, a card?” Hajime asked, and quickly de-taped the edge, and read through the short message. 

As Nagito had hoped, Hajime smiled at the card, and then to him as well. 

“I’m glad I know you, too, Nagito,” Hajime said, tucking the card into his back pocket and finally taking Nagito’s hand, leading them away from the cabins, “But it’s not like it's a sacrifice to be with you. I like it.”

Nagito just nodded, letting one of his fingers gently brush against a daisy petal. He knew Hajime said those things to Nagito, because he was kind. But still, it felt so, so wonderful to hear. 

“Where are we going?” Nagito asked, after they started walking away from the main island hub. 

“It’s a secret, remember?” Hajime teased, squeezing Nagito’s hand. 

“Ah, of course,” Nagito said with a smile. How exciting! Surely it will be something worthy of an ultimate surprise. 

Eventually, they reached a stopping point, relatively near where the “secret Future Foundation locked room” was in the simulation. But nothing was around. 

Did Hajime bring Nagito to a secluded forest area to kill him?

“It’s just around the corner,” Hajime explained happily, no sign of murderous intent, “But you have to close your eyes.”

“Okay.” Nagito said, quick to follow instructions and close his eyes, covering them with his free, robotic hand as proof. 

Hajime held his hand slightly tighter as he led Nagito the remaining few steps, then let go.

“Okay, open them.” He instructed. 

Nagito opened his eyes. 

Before him, was a small raised garden, with a few sprouted plants with labels next to their rows. Tomatoes, bell peppers, and carrots were on one half of the small garden, and daisies, wildflowers, and zinnias were labeled on the other. 

“What…?” Nagito mumbled, crouching down to examine the sprouts. 

“You mentioned before, that you wished we had a garden here on the island,” Hajime explained casually, but with a slightly embarrassed tilt to his voice, “And I saw you even reading a gardening book in the library. And I know gardening is a good hobby to relax with, which would be good for you. So, I… got one started. For you. If you want.”

It was clear that Hajime was growing more flustered as he continued speaking, and eventually just trailed off. 

Nagito could feel the prickle at the back of his eyes start to form, and his throat tighten slightly. 

What the heck?! He made a whole  _ garden _ for Nagito?! Who does that?!? How is Nagito supposed to compete with this?

“Do you like it?” Hajime all but whispered, after Nagito remained silent.

Nagito, realizing he hadn’t yet reacted verbally, nodded quickly. 

“It’s- I- You didn’t-” He stuttered, then took a deep breath and continued “This is… amazing, Hajime… This looks like it took so much work…”

“Ah, well,” Hajime said, shrugging it off with a blush, still somehow unused to the spotlight, “It wasn’t really  _ that _ hard… I have ultimate carpenter and gardening skills now, so the whole thing was easy to make.”

“You made the boards, too?” Nagito asked, pointing to the wooden boards holding up the raised garden in rectangular shape. 

Hajime nodded. 

“We cleared out some trees before, making room for the storage units, so I figured I’d use the wood for something useful. Do you… want the garden? If you don’t want it, though, you don’t have to feel forced!”

Nagito nearly gave himself whiplash nodding, not even trusting himself to speak properly. 

“Thank you, Hajime!” He finally said after nodding himself into a concussion, “I promise to treasure it!” 

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want-”

“No!” Nagito shouted, wrapping his arms around the front of the little vegetable trough, “I want to!”

Hajime laughed at Nagito’s strange pose. 

“Alright, alright,” He said through his laughter, “I’m really glad you like it, then.”

“I don’t… know how to repay you.” Nagito said, his loud shout quieting drastically to a whisper, as he turned slowly to face the tiny sprouts. 

“Just being happy with it is nice,” Hajime said, with the patented ‘I sound sarcastic but also just mean it’ tone, “I’ll take some of the carrots once they’re grown, though, if you don’t mind sharing.”

“I’ll give you all of them!” Nagito promised quickly. 

“N-No,” Hajime said, waving his hands nervously, “You can still have  _ some _ …”

Nagito decided not to argue with Hajime’s misguided ideas, and instead turned to look at the small carrots growing. Even though Nagito had never grown carrots before, he  _ had _ read some gardening books, like Hajime said. The carrots seemed to be growing healthily, with still small and ‘fuzzy’ leaves, and only a tiny ring of orange around the base of the plants. 

“Supposedly these are all in the proper season, but our island doesn’t really get drastic weather changes, anyway,” Hajime said, glancing over to the flowers, “So it’s not like they’re at risk of frosting over.”

Nagito nodded. He knew Hajime was just trying to sound casual, but clearly as Ultimate Gardener, he’d know exactly how these plants would react to the island’s biome. If it weren’t pushing even more work onto Hajime’s shoulders, Nagito would have suggested Hajime take the garden instead. After all, surely it would flourish under his hands, while under Nagito’s, the garden was at risk for any number of problems. Hopefully, Izuru’s negating luck effects also ensured the garden’s safety, too, since he made it. Like a genetics thing. 

“Well,” Hajime said, snapping Nagito’s attention back away from the carrots, “I don’t know if staring at sprouts is much of a date, so we can go find some more plant books in the library, if you want?”

“Do you want to?” Nagito asked. 

Hajime just shrugged, with a lopsided (nervous?) smile. 

“I mean, I don’t see why not. If you wanted more prep, that is. We don’t have to. We can go to the beach, if you’d like. The water was pretty warm today.”

“Let’s do that, then.” Nagito nodded, standing up fully. 

“We can still go find you some plant books, if you’d like.” Hajime said, as he led Nagito towards the beach. 

Nagito shook his head.

“You already know everything about plants, don’t you?”

“Well, yeah,” Hajime shrugged shyly, “But it’s  _ your _ garden.”

“I don’t want you being bored, reading things you already know.” Nagito said, confident that he thought it through enough not to bore Hajime more than necessary. 

“I mean, I can read something else. Or, I guess I can just tell you some tips for those plants, if you wanted?”

Nagito almost gasped like a child on Christmas.

“Advice from the Ultimate Gardener?” He asked, eyes shining slightly, “If you don’t mind!”

Hajime laughed.

“Geez, you make it sound like I’m some celebrity. No, I don’t mind talking to my boyfriend.” He said teasingly, as if he  _ wasn’t _ a celebrity in Nagito’s eyes. 

Thus, as they walked to and on the beach, Hajime explained various intricacies of gardening. Nagito listened with rapt attention, trying to take mental notes on as many things as he could. 

“... and obviously,” Hajime continued, as they walked slowly through the ankle-deep water, carrying their shoes, “Minor details like this aren’t vital, but I know tomatoes like some extra calcium sometimes. So, maybe we can ask Teruteru to set aside some eggshells for us to keep, and if you grind them up and put them in with the dirt, it helps the plant get some extra calcium…”

Eventually, they started to grow tired, and turned around to walk back toward the cabins. 

“I hope you had fun tonight,” Hajime said, as they started to get close to the cabins, “Sorry that I ended up lecturing you half of the time, hah.”

“No, no,” Nagito said, “I really like hearing you.”

“Ah,” Hajime hummed, scratching his neck shyly, “Thank you… Well, next date, you can give  _ me _ a lecture on the latest book you’ve been reading, how about that?”

_ Next date… _ Nagito thought, the phrase still sounding so foreign. 

“We’ll have to see,” He said with an airy laugh, hoping that Hajime wasn’t truly serious about wanting to hear someone like Nagito ramble on about a fiction novel he’s been reading. 

Hajime’s smile seemed to falter for a moment, but he didn’t give Nagito much time to dwell. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow at breakfast?” He asked, like he always did, once they got to the cabins. 

“Yes,” Nagito said. And with that, their date was over. 

Nagito took fervent care of the garden Hajime had gifted to him. He made sure to give them plenty of water, and even found some old fertilizer bags in the ranch area. Nagito didn’t mind that it was a slight walk to get to his garden. If anything, he loved the seclusion of it all. Like a private sanctuary for himself, his plants, and thoughts of Hajime. Supposedly, plants liked to be talked to, and so Nagito told them all about the books he read, and his running theories on why the accused captain was  _ not _ the killer, but the first mate  _ was _ . 

One time, he was rapidly explaining to his zinnia why the detective in the story was blind to their own bias- quite a foolish trait for a detective!-, he heard a rustle behind him. 

“Ah, sorry,” Hajime muttered, stepping out from behind a tree, “I wanted to see if I could find you, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“What can I help you with, Hajime?” Nagito asked, trying desperately not to focus on the fact that Hajime looked like he had been standing their  _ way _ longer than he was letting on. 

“I just wanted to check on you and the garden. How’s it going?” Hajime asked, sitting down next to Nagito. 

“I think it’s going really well, even under  _ my _ care!” Nagito explained, pointing at the small buds on almost all of the flower plants, “And I think the first round of tomatoes will even be ready soon.”

“That’s awesome, Nagito!” Hajime said, smiling proudly at Nagito, “You’re doing an awesome job.”

“Ah, well, thank you,” Nagito said, glancing away. He  _ wanted _ to deny it, but he was trying to practice taking compliments. Or at least not arguing them. Hajime asked him to. 

It was a very, very difficult endeavor. 

“Well, I don’t mean to distract you,” Hajime said, standing up to leave.

Nagito grew quickly worried. Was he truly so boring, that Hajime felt compelled to leave after one sentence? It would be appropriate, however, if not still disappointing anyway. 

Hajime must have seen the sad expression on Nagito’s face, though. 

“Or I can stay, if you’d like!” He said, quickly shaking his hands. 

_ Ah, how selfish of me! _ Nagito reprimanded himself. Hajime clearly wanted to leave. To guilt him into staying in such a boring, unappealing environment, just for Nagito’s sake… how cruel!

“No, no,” Nagito denied, “Please, do whatever you’d like.”

Hajime paused, unsure. It was strange, at times. He’d practically freeze up, and Nagito knew those moments were a conflict between Hajime’s own ideas, and Izuru’s. 

“Well, Teruteru had asked if I could help with the roast he was making tonight…” Hajime mumbled. 

“Then please, don’t waste your time here,” Nagito said, trying to make his voice as happy as possible, “I’m sure that would be much more beneficial.”

“It’s not a waste-” Hajime started, then cut himself off with a sigh, “Would you like me to bring you some food, or will you be eating with the rest of us?”

“Please, don’t trouble yourself,” Nagito answered, “I’ll eat with the rest.” 

Hajime nodded suspiciously. 

“You know you’re not a trouble, Nagito.” He said, after a moment. 

_ If I’m not already, I certainly don’t want to become one.  _

“Please don’t worry about me, Hajime.” Nagito said instead. 

Hajime sighed once more, and left. 

To make Hajime sigh twice, truly gruesome. Nagito would have to work harder at being worth Hajime’s time. 

Not all good things last forever. 

Good luck is always met with recoil. 

“I’m just saying, it’s not something you have to deny every time.” Hajime said, not raising his voice, but speaking firmly. 

An argument. 

“But it’s not fair to let you live some delusion, is it?” Nagito replied, voice also just as snappy. 

“It’s not a delusion if it’s an  _ opinion _ ,” Hajime said, raising his hands as he spoke, “I’m not out here saying the grass is neon purple!”

“You might as well be,” Nagito muttered under his breath.

“Listen, I’m just saying, to  _ try _ to let me say nice things about you!” Hajime huffed. 

This all started so nice. 

Date number five, stargazing. How romantic. Nagito had truly been looking forward to hearing Hajime point out constellations, as Ultimate Astronomer. 

But then Hajime tried to say some cheesy romantic line, about Nagito. The worst part is, Nagito doesn’t even remember the exact wording of it. But he knew how he responded:  _ I don’t see how you could see something like that in someone like me _ . 

And now, here they were. Hajime had mentioned before that he wanted Nagito to try to take compliments. And he was getting better at smaller ones, but some big romantic line like that? 

In the heat of the moment, Nagito had argued back, of course. His mind was a quick one, albeit disgusting, and he was quick to the defence. But he realized, in a cold rush of horror-

This might be it. 

_ This _ , this might finally be the Old Faithful moment. Hajime would realize that Nagito couldn’t do something as simple as agreeing with him. 

Nagito was  _ supposed _ to make this easier on Hajime! Not argue with him, and get him  _ angry! _

But it was hard to figure out what he had to do, even for a mind as quick as his own. He still felt strongly about his case in the argument, and his instincts were saying to fight back. Despite being the least valuable member on the island, he may be one of the few with wit quick enough to argue Hajime. Oh, what a  _ lovely _ trait to have… 

“... Sorry.” Nagito mumbled, swallowing his pride, in hopes of pacifying Hajime. 

Hajime blinked, clearly expecting an argument out of Nagito, instead of a concession. 

“I just-” Hajime started, then took a deep breath and tried again, “I just want you to see yourself the way I do, Nagito. It really hurts when you don’t believe the things I say.”

Nagito nodded, staring at Orion’s belt above, rather than look at Hajime. 

“Sorry for hurting you…” He whispered, “You’re right. I’m wrong.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Nagito saw Hajime’s uneasy expression. 

“I’m sorry for arguing with you,” Hajime said, after a moment. 

“No, it’s my fault,” Nagito said quickly, allowing a quick glance down to Hajime to show his sincerity. He didn’t want Hajime to feel any guilt. 

“Still…” Hajime mumbled, “...Are you okay?”

_ Please don’t worry about me!!! _ Nagito wanted to scream. He didn’t want  _ any  _ attention to himself. He just wanted Hajime to be as happy as possible. That was Nagito’s job. 

“Yes, thank you,” He said, instead. Short and sweet, and enough to let Hajime go to another topic now. 

But apparently, he can’t even do that right. 

Hajime just seemed  _ more sad _ , for some reason. In Nagito’s periphery, he saw Hajime start to reach over to hold his hand, presumably, then hesitate, and take his hand back. 

_ Of course _ , Nagito thought,  _ why would he want to touch someone like me? _

“Even if you don’t believe me,” Hajime spoke quietly, “Can you at least trust me that  _ I  _ believe it?”

Nagito nodded.

“I will.” He said, and hoped he was being honest. 

But even if he wasn’t, sometimes people had to lie to keep those around them happy. 

  
  


Nagito thought he had been getting a lot better lately, with being what Hajime would want. He had given Hajime the entire crop of carrots- well, almost. There were two carrots that were weirdly deformed in shape. Hajime surely wouldn’t want something gross and disgusting like that. So Nagito kept those two to himself. But the rest of the  _ appropriate _ crop, he gave to Hajime. And Hajime had seemed so happy! He promised to make carrot cake with the crops, and give Nagito the first slice. Nagito wasn’t sure how to handle such a generous offer, but before he could even speak up against it, Hajime had caught Teruteru in his sight, and rushed over to ask about their baking supplies. 

Sure enough, later that day, Hajime brought a large carrot cake out to the island residents after their evening meal. 

“This is made with the carrots Nagito grew,” Hajime announced proudly, cutting up a slice.

He put the first slice on one of their paper plates, and started to hand it in Nagito’s direction, but Hiyoko snatched it away before it could get to Nagito. 

“Lemme test it!” She announced, taking a large forkful, “Oh wow, it’s really good!”

“I guess Ultimate Baker would make some pretty good desserts,” Mahiru nodded.

“Me next!” Akane shouted, then whined: “I can’t believe I missed the first slice!”

Hajime sighed, and ended up plating everyone else a slice before getting to Nagito. 

“I’m really sorry you didn’t get the first slice like I promised,” Hajime apologized, finally handing Nagito a slice. 

“It’s okay,” Nagito answered, honestly, “I’m just glad everyone got to share in the joy together.”

Hajime seemed pleased with his answer, and served himself the final slice. Nagito could hear him mutter something about giving Hiyoko ‘the last slice, next time I make something’, with a pout. Nagito couldn’t help but giggle at how childish someone as impressive as even Hajime could be, at times. 

“So I take it the rest of the garden is going well?” Hajime asked, after finishing most of his slice. 

“Oh, yes,” Nagito said, nodding, “I think the bell peppers should be ready soon, too. I think one thing I’d like to try, next time, is maybe giving the carrots more space. Maybe their own trough, and see if they’d grow deeper?”

“You want another trough?” Hajime asked, voice even and still. 

“I think it would help the carrots-” Nagito started, then came to a horrible realization.

_ How ungrateful! _

For all of Hajime’s generous and laborious hard work, Nagito spits in his face by correcting it, and asking for more! How disgusting! It seems that people like him aren’t content to ruin what they already have! They need more to-

Before Nagito could even finish his mental degrading, and take back any sign of ungratefulness, Hajime was already standing up. 

“I’ll see if we still have the wood, and make another,” He said, with a strangely large smile for someone whose gifts were just insulted, and sped-walked away from the group. 

Nagito didn’t even have a chance to stop him.

He held a shaky hand up towards Hajime’s direction, somehow hoping to psychically pause him, but it didn’t work. 

“Yo, Nagito, you alright?” Nekomaru asked, walking by Nagito’s table to throw his empty paper plate away, “Need to take a dump?”

“Ah, hah,” Nagito mumbled, grabbing his upper arm, “I need to go.”

“Don’t forget to hydrate!” Nekomaru advised loudly, and Nagito all but stumbled his way out of the meeting room. 

What cruel, despairing fate. 

For the universe to give Nagito with such a perfect, sacrificial boyfriend, only for Nagito to go selfishly ordering him around. 

_ I’m not working hard enough! _

Nagito mentally scolded himself the entire walk to his cabin, and as he curled into his bed, throwing the blanket over his disgusting form. 

_ I’ll have to work harder… _ He planned,  _ Maybe if I don’t eat tomorrow, I can give Hajime my portions… chopping wood must take away so many calories… _

After a few hours, when the sun had long since set, and Nagito hadn’t moved from his position, there was a clear knock at his cabin door. 

“Nagito?” Hajime’s voice rang through, “Peko said you looked sick, are you alright?”

Dang it, Peko. 

“Ah, I’m alright Hajime, please don’t worry about me!” He answered, but his voice cracked, betraying him. 

“Can I come in?” Hajime asked, clearly smart enough to tell Nagito was  _ not  _ ‘alright’. 

With a silent but begrudging sigh, Nagito got up and opened the door for Hajime. 

Hajime saw the poor state Nagito must be in, and quickly let himself in and sat at the end of Nagito’s bed. 

“Come here,” He instructed softly, patting the spot next to himself.

Nagito obeyed, and sat. His eyes red itchy from his earlier crying, and he hoped he didn’t have snot on his face. He was ugly enough as it was. 

“What’s wrong?” Hajime asked, in a gentle whisper, after Nagito sat down. 

Nagito wrung his hands out in his lap. How to answer…?

“It’s okay,” Hajime said, after Nagito remained silent for a while, “You can tell me, really.”

Nagito sighed. He might as well keep Hajime in the loop with these things. 

“I’m… not sure I know how to make it worth it.” Nagito answered.

“Hm?” Hajime asked. 

“ _ This _ ,” Nagito explained, pointing to himself, “I don’t deserve you, and I don’t know how to make it okay to  _ you _ .”

“Deser- _ okay _ ? What do you mean ‘okay’?” Hajime asked, tilting his head, as if this was some new notion to him. 

“Dating me!” Nagito finally said, because clearly Hajime wasn’t using his Ultimate intelligence right now, “I can’t stop who I am, and I keep being selfish…”

“What are you selfish about?” Hajime asked. 

“I know I don’t even deserve your time, but- but I want it so much…” Nagito admitted, staring far away from Hajime, “And then to go ask you to do some, what,  _ manual labor _ for me?!”

Nagito opened his mouth to continue, but Hajime quickly interrupted him.

“Nagito.” He said, voice so strict and firm that it startled Nagito into looking back at him.

“Do you know what I thought to myself, when you asked for another row in the garden?”

Nagito knew what  _ he _ would have assumed, and he knew Hajime knew what he would say, so he kept quiet. 

“I thought to myself, ‘yes! Finally!’,” Hajime explained, his voice back to soft once more, “I thought that it was  _ finally _ my chance to do something for you!”

_ “Huh?! _ ” Nagito couldn’t help but blurt out. He didn’t want to interrupt Hajime, but that was far too absurd, “Y-You’ve been doing things for me this whole time, what are you talking about?!”

“Nothing directly _ for  _ you, though!” Hajime replied, calmly, despite Nagito looking at him like he grew a second and third head all at once, “Maybe a few times, but you always try to do what  _ I _ want to do, or say what you think  _ I  _ want to hear.”

“I get really worried, you know…” Hajime continued, scratching his neck slowly, “You’re always doing things for me, I can tell. I don’t think you’re really  _ lying _ to me, at least not actively. But I can tell you’re trying so hard to be whatever you think I want you to be, and I worry that you aren’t even having fun. Like, ‘ _ oh, what if Nagito is just going to stargaze because  _ I  _ mentioned it?’ _ , type thing.” 

Nagito blinked. Well, yes. He’s correct. Nagito was certainly  _ trying _ to be what Hajime wanted, but clearly he wasn’t doing too hot. 

“Not that I think you hated it,” Hajime continued, “But I want for us to do some things  _ you _ pick. We’re in a relationship, it’s not just ‘The Hajime Show’, all the time.”

_ Yes it is.  _

Thankfully, Nagito didn’t blurt that one out. 

“And when you said you wanted another trough...” Hajime trailed off, suddenly growing embarrassed and slightly shy, “W-Well… I ended up making two, since I got really excited.”

“Two?!”

“I wanted you to be happy!” Hajime pouted defensively, acting like some flustered schoolgirl out of nowhere, “You never let yourself be selfish, and I really wanted to do something that was exclusively  _ for you _ …”

Nagito was silent, absorbing the information given to him. This was… Too much. 

Nagito’s biggest mistake in his many attempts to make this relationship ‘worth it’ to Hajime, was… not being selfish _ enough _ ?!

“But…” Nagito mumbled, trying to search his brain for some argument. 

“I’m not dating you because I want some yesman,” Hajime said, as if he hadn’t just finished baffling Nagito, “I want  _ you _ . And I know for a  _ fact _ , you’re a very opinionated person. I want to know those parts about you even better! We don’t have to agree on every detail, or always like the activities I like. As long as we agree to care about each other… I-I think that’s enough…”

Nagito stared at Hajime, the real, living Hajime, who sat on his bed, scratching his forearm nervously. This felt fake. But… strangely enough, it felt like the most real conversation they’ve had since they started dating. 

“I…” Nagito tried, took a deep breath, and tried again, “I didn’t realize…”

“I know you were doing it for some idea of ‘not deserving me’, or whatever,” Hajime responded, “But if you remember,  _ I  _ asked  _ you _ out, so if anything, I need to be working to impress you.”

“H-Hey!” Nagito snapped, “Now that’s just-”

His argument was cut off, by Hajime laughing cheerfully at him.

“Sorry, sorry,” Hajime said, waving his hand, “You just looked  _ so upset _ !”

“I  _ am _ !” Nagito huffed, puffing out his cheeks, the adrenaline rush having calmed down, “I’m supposed to be impressing you…”

“You do impress me, Nagito,” Hajime said, his playful giggling over, and voice serious once more, “You really, really do. That’s why I want to know as much about you as I can, okay?”

Nagito stared into Hajime’s eyes, listening to Hajime’s honest feelings. 

“Can you at least promise me, to try to be more honest with me? About how you feel?” Hajime asked, “I want our relationship to be equal.”

Nagito sighed quietly. Although he never allowed himself such fantasies, the idea of being in an equal leveled relationship with Hajime sounded… wonderful. It sounded like a fantasy he would absolutely have. And here Hajime was, asking for that exact thing. 

“I don’t know if I’ll ever see me the way you see me,” Nagito mumbled, “But… I’ll try to be more open, at least.”

“Thank you,” Hajime whispered, and took Nagito’s hand into his lap.

Well… No time like the present. 

“Tomorrow… Can we, maybe, plant the carrots together in the new troughs?” Nagito asked.

“Yes!” Hajime beamed, “I would love to. And you can tell me and the plants all about your book!”

Nagito smiled.

“I’d like that.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> this one's longer than my normal shorties lol, I hope you enjoyed! If you feel like it, I'd love to see your thoughts in the comments! :D  
> I usually write no-plot fluff lol what a change of pace


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